2. George Carlin Government Quotes "Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes." George Carlin "Religion is just mind control. George Carlin Quotes on Religion, Politics, Government & Life - Goalcast If the parent corporation doesn't want you to know something, it won't be on the news. > Quotable Quote. "Application": "GoodreadsMonolith", While some of his views may not be popular among the masses, he does make an interesting point when it comes to government. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. George Carlin, 23. ! Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. He made us notice the things we never did before in the form of his humor and this world will forever be grateful for this brilliant mind. 125 Best George Carlin QuotesFunny George Carlin Quotes on Life Couldnt you just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? George Denis Patrick Carlin was born May 12, 1937, in the Bronx, New York. Your dog thinks you're a god. The people are f***ed. Famous quotes on life, death, politics and of course the American government. In this blog post, well take a look at some of his best quotes on the subject. And a list of people theyre going to visit at 3am. And fight songs. }; George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. 3. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear themusic. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. He was regarded as an influential and significant comic of all time. The planet is fine. When youre born you get a ticket to the freak show. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, 41. 21 George Carlin Quotes On Government And Politics When you die, it all stays here. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. - George Carlin quotes. Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. What George Carlin Believed About Religion They all said: 'Try to live together peacefully.' The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice., Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups., If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else., Political correctness cripples discourse, creates ugly language and is generally stupid., Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out., When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person., If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders., If you have selfish and ignorant citizens then you too will become a selfish and bad leader.. Lets get started! In this blog post, well take a look at some of Carlins most famous quotes on government. Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. George Carlin - Quotes, Death & 7 Words - Biography These George Carlin funny quotes on religion, government, and stupid people will make you laugh as well as think about things deeply. They want obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. It's a Big Club, and You Ain't in it - American Thinker var url; Here we are sharing a collection of George Carlin quotes on religion, government, and life for you to think deeply about the things you have never done before. var googletag = googletag || {}; The planet is fine. Save the planet? Before, all you had to go by were these 14 quotes. What really ought to be said after one of these so-called tragedies is, Let the scarring begin.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? The less said about it the better. George Carlin, 38. try { v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 54 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves (wikipedia). 4. stylesheet.rel = "stylesheet"; Just daydreaming. Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance. George Carlin George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, social critic, actor, and author Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English. My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. A = p.createElement(s); Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) They own, and control the corporations. Soon enough youll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, You show me a lazy prick whos lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and Ill show you a guy whos not causing any trouble. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, I have lots of ideas. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. And apparently Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.George Carlin, Im completely in favor of theseparation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enoughon their own, so both of them together iscertain death.George Carlin, I dont have pet peeves I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.George Carlin, If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Its important in life if you dont give a shit. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("surface", "mw"); This made him outstanding. I think people should be allowed to do what they want. October 29, 2004. var sourcesToHideBuyFeatures = ["ebfg_gr", "ebfg_fb", "ebfg_fbm", "ebfg_tw", The middle class pays all of the taxis, does all of the work. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if youre really looking.George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. Witty George Carlin Quotes 1. Question it, and try to see the world for what it actually is, as opposed to what someone or some company or some organization or some government is trying to represent it as, or present it as, however they've mislabeled it or dressed it up or told you. } They all said: Try to live together peacefully. BAM! They own everything. I hate a group of people with a common purpose. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. Really? Most people with low self-esteem have earned it. George Carlin, 29. If you enjoyed the following article we humbly ask you to comment, and help us spread the word! Laugh until you gasp for breath. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. George Carlin, There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. George Carlin. var gptAdSlots = gptAdSlots || []; Theres a humorous side to every situation. He loves you and he needs money. Every day we present the best quotes! He Was Fatally Beaten by Memphis Police Now People Around the World Are Sharing #SunsetsForTyre in His Honor, 41 Daughter Quotes That Will Touch and Melt Your Heart, 20 Most Inspiring Martin Luther King Jr. Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? }, The future will soon be a thing of the past. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14stand-up comedy specials on HBO taught us the power of words and how a person can use humor as a weapon. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. Best Quotes & Jokes by George Carlin | SComedy Property is theft. He believes that knowledge can change the world and be used to inspire and empower young people to build the life of their dreams. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("author", [22782]); They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, 2. // page settings Save the planet! You should die first, get it out of the way. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away. The people are fucked." George Carlin tags: funny , humanity , humor 8709 likes Like var ue_sid = "334-5362882-2183381"; They've long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. Thats the problem. George Carlin, 58. It can help you a lot. George Carlin, 8. If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? Disgusting that people still make that argument that we can never cut defense but we can cut education. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, 44. Its so f***ing heroic. If black boxes survive air crashes why dont they make the whole plane out of that stuff? George Carlin, 55. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. He was an American standup comedian. In his 50-year career as one of Americas most poignant and provocative social critics, the irreverent actor, author and comedian left no sacred cow unsinged as he took to lobbing one grenade after the next into the comfort zones of American life. War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. We are in a country, and in a world that is run by people who brainwash , . "Men are from Earth,. I'm the Founder of SucceedFeed.com and I truly appreciate you taking the time to read my posts and being apart of the Succeed Feed community. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. Quotes, 60 Confidence Quotes to Help You Understand Your Self-Worth, Chris Evans Inspiring Quotes on Happiness, Success, and Being Laser Focused on Love, Strangers Spring Into Action to Save a Driver in Crisis on a Busy Road [VIDEO], 8-Year-Old Finds Out His Favorite Waffle House Waiter Is Hiding a Secret Doesnt Hesitate to Raise $64,000 for Him, White Woman Refuses to Listen to Dad After He Forbid Her From Marrying a Black Man 60 Years Later, Theyre Still Together, Kansas City Chiefs Fans Donate Over $300,000 to Buffalo Childrens Hospital After Dramatic Playoff Win Versus Rivals. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("gr_author", "false"); But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldnt afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. Don't forget: YOU have the power to make ANYTHING happen. This is what we have to offer. [CDATA[ How are YOU going to tackle today? War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle-class and lower-class men off to die. George Carlin, 78. Pictures. If you can connect with theseGeorge Carlin quotes, subscribe to our blog so that you dont miss a single post. Whether we agreed with his acerbiccommentary or not, his words always reminded us of how sharp a weapon humor can be in slicing through the surface of our assumptions and leaving us, as he would say, gasping for breath.. People forget there is such a thing as memory, and that when a wound heals it leaves a permanent scar that never goes away, but merely fades a little. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Some people see things that are and ask, Why? It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, 65. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. 8 George Carlin Quotes On Death That Will Make You Think! var stylesheet = document.createElement("link"); } else { Then you live in an old age home. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14 stand-up comedy specials on HBO, George Carlin was widely considered one of Americans most influential comedians. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. I have certain rules I live by. I think every day all children should have 3 hours of daydreaming. Laugh until you gasp for breath.George Carlin, The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.George Carlin, Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.George Carlin, People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I dont want to? The table is tilted, folks. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. Please dont forget to subscribe to ourRSS-feedor followInspirationfeedonTwitter,Google+,andFacebook! George Carlin was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, after he passed away that year at the age of 71. } I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. Disclaimer: As an Amazon Associate We earn from qualifying purchases. function q(c, r) { } }("apstag", window, document, "script", "//c.amazon-adsystem.com/aax2/apstag.js"); They should be more vivid. Continue with Recommended Cookies. if (window.csa) { Everybodys going to save something now. No money to be made off of the homeless. }, Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. window.csa("Events")("setEntity", { George Carlin. In America, anyone can become president. What if I want to have a crappy day?George Carlin, Not only do I not know whats going on, I wouldnt know what to do about it if I did.George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.George Carlin, So, have a little fun. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. throw new Error("could not load device-specific stylesheet : " + err.message); Who the fuck is going to invade the US? And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.George Carlin, Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuckGeorge Carlin, I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. That is against their interests. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. } if (a[a9]) return; "I have certain rules I live by. Lists. If you burn the flag, youre burning the flag for what you perceive to be the bad things the country has done. // , People cant seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure. George Carlin Quotes Government George Carlin American Comedian born on May 12, 1937, died on June 22, 2008 George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen. Dont just teach your children to read Teach your children to question what they read, teach them to question everything. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience." - George Carlin 2. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, 42. Its never going to get any better. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Looking for the best George Carlin quotes? Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. Beneath George Carlins biting sarcasm and razor-sharp wit lay a heartfelt indignation at the injustices he observed in the world around him. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. Because theres no money in that problem. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? And far from staying to the safer path, he leapt time and again past the cliff of common wisdom, in the hopes of rattling us into questioning the way we live. Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. Carlin is well-known for pivoting from a strait-laced, suit-and-tie approach to standup in the late 1960s and early . And fight songs. We would love to hear your thoughts, so dont be shy and comment below! Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. In this article, we present to you some of the famous George Carlin Quotes on Government, Marriage, Love, Life, Religion, Death, Voting, Freedom, Politics and More with their meaning. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control peoples language with strict codes and rigid rules. George Carlin, 60. Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, 77. George Carlin political quotes may seem sensitive, but they inspire necessary conversations. George Carlin was one of the most well-known and beloved comedians of all time. George Carlin Quotes Government. QuotesGram "https:" : "http:") + 101 Marianne Williamson Quotes That Will Enlighten You. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. George Carlin was no stranger to controversy. People are wonderful one at a time. American Nothing changed.George Carlin, Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?George Carlin, I think its the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live. You will do things in the name of a group that you would never do on your own. A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. "Everyone smiles in the same language." ~ (George Carlin). Famous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images By Daniel Kurtzman Updated on 06/20/18 "In America, anyone can become president. return false; Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, 39. The owners of this country know the truth: Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, 83.Theres a reason education sucks, and its the same reason it will never ever ever be fixed. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. q("i", arguments) My motto: Fuck Hope! George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Im happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. 14 George Carlin Quotes on Education, Kids & Parents - Fatherly Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, 26. "Events.Namespace": "csa", This is the best we can do folks. In fact, George Carlin had some pretty interesting things to say about government. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? Welcome | QuoteSaga Let George Carlin Inspire You! #shorts #georgecarlin #motivataion # The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. George Carlin, 45. They'll get it all from you sooner or later 'cause they own this f**kin' place. Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it because youve lost your identity because you now owe your allegiance to this thing thats bigger than you are and that controls you. George Carlin, 71. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. George Carlin, 49. Ice Cube Shares George Carlin Quote About Politicians: 'They - Newsweek I think that speaks for itself. George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. Im talking about the real owners now the real owners. Toothpicks?George Carlin, No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. there's no such thing as rights. When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, 48. They own you. }); If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. George Carlin, 31. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. George Carlin, 70. Do share your thoughts with us in the comment section and tell us which one was your favoriteGeorge Carlin quotesor if you want to ask any questions or have any query send them viaContact Us. the important thing is to, first of all, question everything you read or hear or see or are told. They own everything. Quote by George Carlin: "Political correctness is fascism pretending to Apparently, were not ready for that! George Carlin, 72. Deal with it. googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || []; TOP 25 QUOTES BY GEORGE CARLIN (of 976) | A-Z Quotes I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. var ue_furl = "fls-na.amazon.com"; Vicious Quotes Page 5. . Right in the f--in head! The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. George Carlin, 33. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. George Carlin's full name was George Denis Patrick Carlin. 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